They think I'm qualified?

Let me tell you about my first day, my first job, my first exposure to ::gasp:: the REAL WORLD. No more cushy college girl procrastination, long gone are my days of unexcused absences and late night cram sessions. Although I still don't believe it myself, yesterday I joined cOrporate aMerica. That's right, I am officially part of the wacky and conservative world of office politics and business transactions.

The story begins Monday morning with the unwelcome urgings of a full bladder and a whirling brain. I found this rather annoying since both were insisting that it was NOT time to sleep, but rather time to get up and get ready. I glanced at the clock with my groggy blind eyes and saw 5:37. From past experience I knew that I could shut down my brain down again for the twenty minutes that remained until my alarm went off...but also that the bladder pleas weren't going away. I moaned and stumbled (...literally...my bedroom isn't exactly clean yet and some crazy girl left her balance board out in the middle of the room and then turned the lights out!) to the bathroom, hopped back into bed and tried to convince my body to rest a little more. ::tossing:: ::turning:: I was restless and it seemed like foreverandaday had passed and still no "beep beep beep" from my little alarm clock. I looked down at the clock, which read: 3:07. Shit I erroneously inverted the 2 with my groggy blind eyes. Three more hours, did you hear that brain? Back to sleep now!

So around 6 the alarm does sound and I hop out of bed. I do some push ups, eat some strawberry yogurt mush, watch the news (a new habit I'm trying to develop), chat with the bro, paint my face, curl my hair, put on my phenomenal new sweater, pack my lunch and phone and purse and passport into my briefcase, grab my clothes that need alterations and my workout bag and head out the door. I'm supposed to report to the office at 8. I'm a nerd that refuses to be late...so naturally I was at the parking lot by 7:15. Yes, that is exactly WAY TOO EARLY, even for a nerd. I deviously kept on driving and pulled into a little diner parking lot about a half mile away and decided to call the padres. This would be the second moment of my Monday when only one word could sum up my feelings: Shit. I was looking for my phone...and realized I left it, and my full briefcase, at home. Oh yes, shit. ZOOOOOOOOM! on the highway. ZOOOOOOOOM! into the driveway. Open sesame (to the garage door). Zoooooom! on foot into the house. ZOOOOOOM! back on the highway.

7:59am I pushed open the door to my new office and smiled at the receptionist, "Hi, it's my first day and..." while thinking to myself "Holy monkies, they don't even know what a character they invited in to their structured and professional world...but we've got a contract and now they're stuck with me!" Let the learning and games begin.