There had to be a catch somewhere...right?

Already I do have a few complaints about office life. Some days it is really frustrating for a girl like me to be stuck to my computer. Here is a brief summary of the problems I've encountered.

The cubicle walls are just too high. Some of my co-workers tower over the top, and every time they stop to chat from the other side of the wall, I get jealous. Now I'm not really a jealous person but in this situation I excuse myself - giraffitis is really an enviable trait. It hurts me to know that even if I jump, my eyes barely and only momentarily peek over into other cubes.

The guy in the cube next to mine is naturally cool. Really cool, like the kind of cool you can't get by just buying name brand and going to the most rockin' parties. Cool that runs through and through. He takes great care of himself and somehow manages to personalize the "biz cas" apparel and still look professional. Now I'm naturally happy and driven...but cool, well that is in a whole different realm. Shit, it's like going back to high school. It's a sad realization that I will never be that kind of cool.

Even though it stains your teeth, deceives your body, and makes your breath smell naaaaasty (the aaaas should be said with vocal intonation), coffee holds a special place in my department. Other morning drinks do not seem to fit into office life, a sad thing I'm learning to cope with. The sign by the coffee maker ($.25 per cup or $6.50 for the month) does NOT direct anything toward people like me, people who drink tea . Do I momentarily and daily transform into a sugar thief? What about the stir spoon, do I get to use that? Dare I let it out that I drink herbal tea, that there isn't even a drop of caffeine entering my body? What a debacle!

Someone always seems to "just feel like baking". The table is filled daily with some sort of fattening delicious treat, and people almost get offended if you don't celebrate their birthday/promotion/randomness by eating the goodies! Wouldn't it be nice if someone "just felt like gardening" and brought in a veggie tray? But oh no, in cOrporate aMerica, that kind of thing is unheard of.

So you can see, life is not entirely peachy in my world of work. Hopefully I can put up with these horrible horrible nuisances and just focus on the job! Wish me luck :)

The seaweed is NOT always greener in somebody elses lake ( please reference, The Little Mermaid)

So I've made it through two weeks and discovered that I am quite a lucky sponge. Let me tell you why!

• My department has only 15 people and, departmental consensus says, our boss is great at his job and really sets his people up for personal development and promotions.

• The gentleman whose desk I am taking says "You are starting off in the perfect place. Most recent grads get sent to customer service (department size 100) and can get promoted to here after a few years. "

• The trainer says "You are going to be SO bored in training. You've seemed to adjust really well and absorb the info (hence the sponge) everyone is offering. After shadowing a few days, I've seen you sitting in and ready to take over, you're learning quickly!"

• I get it. "it" being what I am supposed to do. I see how the different people in my position react to situations, who they call, how they choose what actions to take, and I know that I will be successful...once I get used to everything. Like the little engine that could, I just think to myself: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. This is going to be fun!

So the job is good, let me tell you about a few of the other perks that keep me seeing the world through rose colored glasses.

• The company pool is AMAZING. Clean, deep, sparkly blue, and a perfectly chilling 82*. It's wonderful, even at 5am.

• I get a free personal trainer.
  

• They have group cycling (spinning) classes too!
  

So I seem to be surviving, now I just want to learn to do my job! Last week and this week I've been job shadowing, asking a lot of questions, and I even cruised from building to building to meet with individuals from other departments that can fill me in on the overall supply chain structure. In addition to that, they decided to torture me with hours of computer simulations/slide shows that are ::yawn:: terrible. All next week I've got official training 8am-4:30p (rumor has it they are bringing Sour Patch Kids and Swedish Fish!) Things are off to a solid start!

They think I'm qualified?

Let me tell you about my first day, my first job, my first exposure to ::gasp:: the REAL WORLD. No more cushy college girl procrastination, long gone are my days of unexcused absences and late night cram sessions. Although I still don't believe it myself, yesterday I joined cOrporate aMerica. That's right, I am officially part of the wacky and conservative world of office politics and business transactions.

The story begins Monday morning with the unwelcome urgings of a full bladder and a whirling brain. I found this rather annoying since both were insisting that it was NOT time to sleep, but rather time to get up and get ready. I glanced at the clock with my groggy blind eyes and saw 5:37. From past experience I knew that I could shut down my brain down again for the twenty minutes that remained until my alarm went off...but also that the bladder pleas weren't going away. I moaned and stumbled (...literally...my bedroom isn't exactly clean yet and some crazy girl left her balance board out in the middle of the room and then turned the lights out!) to the bathroom, hopped back into bed and tried to convince my body to rest a little more. ::tossing:: ::turning:: I was restless and it seemed like foreverandaday had passed and still no "beep beep beep" from my little alarm clock. I looked down at the clock, which read: 3:07. Shit I erroneously inverted the 2 with my groggy blind eyes. Three more hours, did you hear that brain? Back to sleep now!

So around 6 the alarm does sound and I hop out of bed. I do some push ups, eat some strawberry yogurt mush, watch the news (a new habit I'm trying to develop), chat with the bro, paint my face, curl my hair, put on my phenomenal new sweater, pack my lunch and phone and purse and passport into my briefcase, grab my clothes that need alterations and my workout bag and head out the door. I'm supposed to report to the office at 8. I'm a nerd that refuses to be late...so naturally I was at the parking lot by 7:15. Yes, that is exactly WAY TOO EARLY, even for a nerd. I deviously kept on driving and pulled into a little diner parking lot about a half mile away and decided to call the padres. This would be the second moment of my Monday when only one word could sum up my feelings: Shit. I was looking for my phone...and realized I left it, and my full briefcase, at home. Oh yes, shit. ZOOOOOOOOM! on the highway. ZOOOOOOOOM! into the driveway. Open sesame (to the garage door). Zoooooom! on foot into the house. ZOOOOOOM! back on the highway.

7:59am I pushed open the door to my new office and smiled at the receptionist, "Hi, it's my first day and..." while thinking to myself "Holy monkies, they don't even know what a character they invited in to their structured and professional world...but we've got a contract and now they're stuck with me!" Let the learning and games begin.